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������������ Keeping myself form asking too much. Holding on to anything that keeps me stable. Need to stay calm. I can’t be desperate. I am trying not to be. Doing all I can to make things better. Am I alone in this? Am I the only one who tries? Maybe I cause problems and maybe I t is me who has problems. It is hard to concentrate, but I am doing all I can. If my body and mind is not strong enough to withstand this battle, will I be a loser? I do not know what I am worth to people or myself. I do know what is in my heart. My fantasies, I want them to be real. They feel good and I want everyone to feel that way with me. Only then I won’t feel alone.